Growing Pains

So we have now been off of American soil for just over a month. We are slowly getting used to our new lifestyle, which is way different from our old one. This is certainly a lot more fun than working 12 hours a day, but there have been sacrifices. I think the biggest one so far is our kids’ social lives. They miss their friends, and our internet isn’t reliable enough for rapid international communication. We haven’t really met any English-speaking cruising kids yet for them to hang out with, likely because Colombia is not a high-priority cruising destination for most Americans. Plus, most boats get really beat up on the way down here. Ergo, not many Yanks in Cartagena this time of year. So, we will stay in Cartagena for 2-3 more weeks and then make our way up the coast of Colombia, and then to Aruba.

Some of the downsides were anticipated and planned for, like not having much personal space, not having a garden, and not having a car. But some hit us harder than we thought, like living without Amazon Prime, fast and reliable Wi-Fi, and trustworthy food and water. We can’t be there for our friends at home. Also, no matter how much Spanish we try to learn at the last minute on the boat, as soon as someone speaks to us, we are lost. So let’s just say Mel isn’t that happy with her Colombian haircut, but it will have to do.

New Cruiser’s Blues

We sailed across the bumpy sea

In our shiny new boat

Because Mel was tired of being an MD

And tired of signing notes

 

Now we drink sundowners

And wake up when we want

But sometimes we get gloomy

And for happiness we hunt

 

We can’t get good Wi-Fi

Because they think it’s all right

To charge a dollar sixty

Per megabyte

 

There’s a crack in our scupper

That needs a fiberglass solder

That won’t help Mel’s tampons

Which are full of saltwater

 

The stores are confusing

It takes an hour to find beer — Oh!

What?! You’re kidding!

No Caffeine-Free Coke Zero?!!!

 

There’s a smell in our bathroom

That won’t go away

But “bleach hurts the fittings”

Will someone please design a marine head that can handle frickin’ bleach, okay??

 

The helm seat has a vibration

Because our engine mounts are loose

“That’s not supposed to happen!”

Well it did. After less than 200 hours of use!

 

Everyone’s on antibiotics

We have diarrhea and sores

And Mel can’t do her workout inside

Because she keeps hitting the cabinet doors

 

The old cat is grumpy

Her urination is a free-for-all

So she goes on the beds, and the cushions, and the pillows

And the washing machine is too small

 

The kids have played too much Minecraft

Because it feels like 105 outside

Now they are fighting like Creepers

It’s time for another taxi ride!

 

But soon things will be fixed (for now)

And we will shake off

These New Cruiser Blues

By taking off

To new places to see

And food to eat

And things to break

And people to meet

Because the things we have

To get us back in the groove

Are Gin and Tonic

And a house that can move!